Hey! From the rural Smokies of western NC! We, Paul and Karen Fredette minister as a couple to hermits worldwide. Karen lived as a hermit for six years in a primitive cabin in West Virginia. Before then she had spent thirty years as a Poor Clare nun in Sancta Clara Monastery in Canton, Ohio. Paul was a member of the Glenmary Home Missioners for twenty years. He did pastoral work in the rural south before becoming editor of The Glenmary Challenge in 1992. He retired from work as a Qualified Professional in the field of Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities and Mental Health in 2019.
Since our marriage in 1996, we have cultivated a contemplative lifestyle in our home on a secluded mountain slope here in North Carolina. We co-author a quarterly newsletter, Raven’s Bread, Food for Those in Solitude which reaches over 1500 readers around the world. We also offer books, as well as hard-to-find Resources about hermit life. We mentor individuals seeking a solitary life and offer spiritual companioning. Our life is shared (and enriched) by our four-legged companions, Boo (a feline persons)and Bryce (a canine person). Note! These two mentor us and keep us balanced!
I discovered Ravens Bread in the wee hours of this morning after waking up and not being to return to sleep. I found such peace and comfort in the blogs and look forward to watching the you tube videos. I am certain this site will become a place I can come to rest. Thank you so much everyone for all the inspiring stories and words particularly in these very difficult and isolating times. I have posted below a poem from John O’Donohue his words always bring such comfort. May blessings be upon you all.
A Blessing of Solitude
by John O’Donohue
May you recognize in your life the presence, power and light of your soul.
May you realize that you are never alone,
that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you
intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
May you have respect for your own individuality and difference.
May you realize that the shape of your soul is unique,
that you have a special destiny here,
that behind the facade of your life there is something
beautiful, good, and eternal happening.
May you learn to see yourself with the same delight, pride,
and expectation with which God sees you in every moment.
Thank you, Christy, for sharing with us and all such a lovely and comforting poem! This is what we should be offering to one another during these anxious times. Let us open wide our windows and sing out to our neighbors; check-in via email or whatever works to let people they are cared about. The love will flow through and give us all more strength to carry on in peace and grace. With our prayers, Karen & Paul
I feel that I was “supposed” to have come upon the story in the New York Times of your wonderful journey and lifestyle. I am a former Catholic priest, a gay man partnered with a very spiritual Asian man. I am a clinical psychologist and my partner is a Buddhist/Daoist counselor and meditation teacher. Although we are engaged in work with others, we are also both very introverted in the sense that solitude and silence calls us and is an integral part of our natures. I would love to receive your newsletter and hear more about you, your work, and other kindred spirits. Thank you.
We will be glad to add you to our quarterly mailing list, as well as send you a complimentary copy of Raven’s Bread via email. You and your partner will have much to share with our readers. We appreciate the richness of many spiritual paths shared among the readers. Let us pray for one another and for all. Karen & Paul
Dear Paul and Karen
I found your site via the New Yorker article this morning. I’ve been at a low ebb and struggling with aloneness as well as lonliness. At times I can take advantage of these gifts of solitude, at others the solitude seems to oppress and overwhelm. I’m waiting for balance; a state I can neither force nor pursue but one that must come of it’s own accord.
In the meantime I take strength where it may be found. This morning it was with you two. Thank you.
Dear Paul and Karen,
I’ve just been watching your “word from still wood” videos.
Thank you for sharing these wonderful thoughts, assurances and directions. I especially found your acknowledgement of how the future is more unknown than ever before, reassuring through its simple honesty.
I have “a friend that shares”, (I suppose he would equate to a spiritual director but I prefer my description). He has the unique perspective of now being a catholic solitary having once been a Buddhist monk. He loves to recount speaking to a novice and asking that they tell of all that worries them. After a lengthy list of all their concerns. He calmly says, good, I am glad to hear all of this. Now answer me this question. By worrying about all these things, how have we changed the situation……?
For me this journey that is “covid” has indeed been an opportunity. The walk started with the vision of a small boy on the beach building a dam of sand in anticipation of the incoming tide, and with the ambition of keeping it out! Of course the inevitable happens.
The choice is, do we dive into the oncoming emotional wave thrashing around trying to stop it. Or, through prayer and meditation, do we climb aboard our surf board of faith, and ride the wave. I’ve no experience of surfing, but I am beginning to learn…
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts. Looking forward to October’s video?
God bless you loads
Senan of Somerset
Dear Senan,
What a great and insightful commentary! We are not surf-boarders but the imagery is great. Life moves on with its many twists and turns. Our role is to try to stay upright, alive, and with our eyes open to whatever is rolling onto the beach at each moment. Let’s join hands on the surf-board! And, yes, October’s video is in process. Let us continue to uphold each other. Karen & Paul
How beautiful your life is! My circumstances force me to live urban as a semi- hermit. My spirituality is Carmelite & comtemplative. Your kitties be sound lovely, I’ve had beautiful 🐈 cats in my time. I lost my cat baby Angel last year, who was an enormous 22 lb. tuxedo breed. She is irreplaceable. I love finding you and fellow hermits & solitaries. Wish I lived out in nature with animals! Peace to you…🐱🐶🦊 Cat Lady
Am so glad that you have feline companions to mentor you, think they are essential for a solitary. My feline owner is incredibly empathetic and knows if I am in pain and will come and sit on the painful but and purr, this deep purr resonates deep into the pain and sends me to sleep. As research has shown that a cats purr can slow and regulate heart rate my companion is very helpful if am suffering an angina attack.
Dear ElsieJoy, Aren’t cats a wonderful mystery? They heal one another by purring and it is so neat when extend their skills to us! When I had bunion surgery, my cat would settle on the cast over my ankle and purr. It helped! We currently have two white cats – a long-hair female named Puff and a short-hair male named Boo. Boo is the most talkative cat we have ever met and when it sounds like he’s speaking English, it gets spooky. They join us for prayer and add to the silence just by their presence. I guess you know that St. Clare of Assisi and Julian of Norwich both loved their cats and are occasionally pictured with one. I do believe every solitary should have a cat!
Dear Paul and Karen,
During these strange times I’ve found the prayer of St Aidan rather good. You and your readers probably already know about him and his prayers – (Bishop of Lindisfarne; a piece of land that becomes an island twice a day.)
Anyway it’s a wonderful prayer for these times.
God bless you loads
Senan of Somerset.
Leave me alone with God as much as may be.
As the tide draws the waters close in upon the shore,
Make me an island, set apart,
Alone with you, God, holy to you.
Then with the turning of the tide
Prepare me to carry your presence to the busy world beyond,
The world that rushes in on me,
Till the waters come again and fold me back to you.
Dear Senan,
How can we thank you for sending us such an appropriate prayer to share with all our Raven readers and whoever drops by to visit. It is such a beautiful image of our needs at this time. Let us always remember that God is with us! Today is Pentecost – WhitSunday to some – and how we all need the comfort of that Presence! Let us continue to hold one another in prayer. Karen & Paul
Thank you Karen and Paul for your kind words.
Your Raven’s bread page is becoming a frequent visit for me. We are experiencing, and I believe, still headed for some big changes. My simple vision and in some ways mission is to allow and encourage people to “be”, amidst this turmoil. Not to strive, explain or even understand, but just to “be” in His presence. To know of His presence that passes all understanding. In the words of the collect, “…that we pass through all that is temporal and loose not those things which are eternal…”
Senan of Somerset
A bit of unashamed advertising… I’ve written about these changes this month.
https://senanofsomerset.co.uk/my-path/changes/
Happy for you delete this link if you need to.
Dear Senan,
Blessed peace! You are “right on the money” (as is said in the US) regarding the irreversility of the changes that are here and/or are coming. We shall not be able to go back to what was once “normal” and may be a blessing for many! Your link is most apropo and we are happy to share it with other readers. A dear friend wrote to us yesterday about becoming “contrast communities” as often modeled by the Society of Friends or Quakers as they are known. We will try sending you a link she provided. Let us continue to hold one another in the Spirit – especially as this is Whitsuntide. How many of us remember this great festival? We don’t believe it is yet time to call out the Morris Dancers …. Together, Karen & Paul
I ask with a humble heart for your prayer for our family, which is tethered to this world. Christ has shown himself and left the 99 to rescue my soul. He has however, allowed it to remain within the difficulties of the world as a teacher, mother and wife. We are in a quarantine area, where we can not go to church or receive sacraments. We have experienced great suffering through rejection as a family, even from church members. Although Christ rescued us from a physical car accident and also spiritually, we remain in a difficult area for biblical believers. Our family is not accepted, so I ask your prayers that Christ can make a way where there is none to help my family from becoming too worldly and to help the Holy Spirit to stay with us. I thank you for your kindness in the powerful prayers that I understand you offer up. If you might request that the hermits you know pray strongly for the souls of families throughout our world who are trying to remain faithful to His Word. Amen.
Reply to Farafamily
Our prayers go out to you during this uncertain and difficult time. As much as we love those with whom we live, there are times when it is more difficult due to inner and outer circumstances. This is when we need to give up control to our loving Lord and just concentrate on being who we are called to be. The graces we receive will overflow onto those we love when God knows the time is right for them to receive and respond to them. We thank God with you that you are all survivors of the car accident. Being quarantined has to be difficult for all – as we know. May the Lord inspire all of you with a deeper understand of his Love. Prayers, Karen & Paul
I have prayed for you, and want you to be assured that if you have accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as your Saviour, then God the Holy Spirit cannot leave you, once saved, He is with you always. You don’t say where you are, but I pray that you will have access to what you need to keep your spirit fed. I too am in quarantine of sorts, alone, but have help with food etc, and I pray that you have this too. This situation will not last forever, and God is with you through this time. Please keep strong in your faith, and take comfort from His promises.
Jackie,
Blessed peace! And be assurd that we pray for you, finding more time during this period of self-enclosure. We look after all whom the Lord Jesus has entrusted us, most especially our Ravens. There are so many more ways to learn more about life, both within and around us. Most of our “enclosure” is formed of mountain slopes and wild woods, all of which is turning a beautiful bright green as we watch! All else, the Lord provides when needed. Let us continue to pray for one another. Karen & Paul
Dear Fredettes –
I am trying to contact you about purchasing from your store – but the links are not working. I am wondering whether or not you have closed it? I also attempted to contact you through the contact form – and it kept giving errors where there (really) were none. It would not accept a phone number – my email – or my name!
Thank you so much for your ministry – it is so needed and I am so grateful!
(This form is not secure, by the way, so I will be obscuring my details somewhat. I am still working in cybersecurity – and it is a strongly engrained habit to not put personal identifiable data in a form that can be read “in the clear” over the Internet!)
Pax et Bonum –
Chana
Dear Chana,
Peace! We apologize for the many unworkable sections of our Raven’s Bread website. The site is “under construction” – we did not expect it to take so long! You may contact us via our phone (828-622-3750) or via email (pkfredette@frontier.com) while we try to “light a fire” under our webmaster. Thank you for finding a way to get in touch anyway. We look forward to hearing from you soon. And let us pray for one another. Karen & Paul
Dear Paul and Karen,
I have only just stumbled across your wonderful site, and I look forward to some time pouring over its pages.
God bless you and your calling.
Senan of Somerset
P.S. feel free to browse and copy from my own site if you find something you like.
Dear Senan of Somerset,
Peace and blessings for these holi/holy days! We are always glad when someone stumbles over us – so long as nothing is hurt! We welcome you to the raven’s table and hope you will drop in often with a gift of your own for others to share. Let us pray for one another, Karen & Paul
A little something…
“Gaude Te
The shortest day has come and gone
And all seems dead around,
But life lies hidden deep within
Beneath the dark cold ground.
New birth appears in bright green robes
In blade and leaf and frond.
We look for shoot from bud and bulb
And frogspawn in the pond.
All these things are here to say,
And will continue to proclaim,
The Saviour that is born this day,
Is come to call our name
Love the poem! We even shelter the frogs for the winter in our two little ponds! Things seem the same as the year apparently repeats itself but we only have to consult our own soul to become aware of the differences. It is now 2020 which could be a portentous year…. the ride can be rough but we are (as always) held by holy Hands. Blessings for the New Year!
Beautiful poem!!
Hopefully there will be a soul mate for me!!!
Hello Raven’s Bread,
I just had some feedback on the website change, i found the old website much easier to navigate and also aesthetically pleasing!
If you can ask your website manager to offer the option of using the old site design (you can ask him for a ‘toggle feature’) that would be much appreciated 🙂
Thanks
A zen buddhist hermit in AR. Thank you. I would like to hear more about, or from zen hermits…
Lo Pl
Welcome Glen,
Have you checked out “A Single Thread”, an online program which focuses on Zen hermits! We have used some articles from the site (with permission, of course). If you would be interested in sending some of your reflections on this topic, we would be glad to publish it. In the meantime, let us pray for one another. Paul & Karen
Hello Karen and Paul, i am a spanish hermit who lives in the south of France, in the mountains known as the Pyrenees. I consider myself a christian, not denominational though. I practice zazen as spiritual praying and I have been as a hermit since I took my retreat six years ago. I watch your videos and I thank you very much for your soupport. I want to send you a longer email but by now this short message will be enough. Really, you are doing a great job. I do not feel isolated since I watch your videos. God bless you both.
Miguel
Welcome, Miguel! Thank you for the kind words that let us know that “the word” reaches far around the world to those who are looking for it. You are in good company. If you email us, we will send you the August issue of Raven’s Bread. Let us pray for one another. Karen & Paul
Thank you! You make so very happy. Tomorrow i will write you an email. It’s time for zazen now.
MARIA MAGDALENA ORA PRO NOVIS
Hi All, I was a regular with Raven’s Bread around 1992 but a twist of fate swept me up in caring for a retired bishop which continued until his death five years ago. In the years following, I was astonished at the indifference of the local parish population. After steadily serving as Sacristan and server, lone church news editor (8pages weekly), and various supportive roles, over 25 years, perhaps I had hoped that my total isolation would have been noticed and corrected with occasional visitors, including the parish priest. Not so. The learning that followed, in the confines of my small home, refined a sense of Presence and increased the sense of discipline and duty in daily readings from a broad field. So, with grocery shopping and church attendance once a week, visited by shy local Australian native birds, tending a small garden, stacking an annual supply of wood for the winter fire, I am enveloped by Silence which is most welcome. Family visits perhaps once a year flood in noise and electric energy that actually points out a surprising selfishness. I’ll work on that along with increasing age and frailty. I’ve started creating a small meditation walk in the yard, and am much more aware of the dog’s presence and hopefulness that may mirror my own! For all those seeking a direction in Silence, may I suggest it is already there, we just have to learn to be aware.
Dear Beverly,
Peace! It is good to hear from you again! We’d be happy to add you to our mailing list again if you email us your new address (pkfredette@frontier.com). It sounds like you’ve been “found” in your simple process of living. Many thanks for sharing! Karen & Paul
Enjoying the posts. Looks like I may be about to turn down this path
Dear Darrell,
Glad to know you are seeing your way towards solitude. You may find there is a lot of company on your way, though you may not meet too many of them directly. Our prayers are with you. Karen & Paul
Dear Paul and Karen,
I’m very thankful for discovering your website and videos. I just begun viewing them, learning about this new and wonderful way of life. Do you still produce the videos?
I, probably within the past couple of years have had this strong calling to live a quiet reflective life in solitude. I have recently married, so I won’t pursue the hermit lifestyle but have adopted some of the ideology of the hermit goals in life. There is something about peaceful nature that truly helps me connect with God. My wife also enjoys the lifestyle as well. We are so perfect together. I don’t know of anybody I could’ve met that would engage in this lifestyle with me. We both love our time at home, our quite time at home with an rare occasion of spending time with family and two of our couple friends, but the majority of our weekends together is at our house tending to our yard and chores with a lot of quite time…No TV, no phones and occasion internet…Do you two venture out much? Or do you practice the hermit lifestyle together? Do you spend most of your time at home just enjoying nature, God and each other’s company?
Thank you for this website..Even though I enjoy my alone time, it is nice to see that there are others out there that enjoy the same lifestyle as me, just at home with God, and nature…and yes….my spouse…
Thank you again….
Scott
Dear Scott,
Peace in the Lord of Quiet! thank you for sharing some of your life with us. Congratulations on your recent marriage AND of finding someone who can be a soul-companion in the quiet life. Many of our Raven’s Bread readers adapt a given lifestyle to the ideals of silence and solitude. Paul and I don’t usually identify ourselves as hermits but it is quite true that we don’t have much of a “social life”. We are both quite happy in the peaceful solitude of our mountainside, surrounded by a thousand acres of forest and fields. It is the goal of Raven’s Bread to provide nourishment to seekers of solitude and to assure them they are not alone in their search for quiet in a noisy, busy world. Let us pray for one another! Karen & Paul
Karen and Paul, I’ve trying to donate money but unfortunately I’ve been unsuccessful to do it through PayPal and Visa keeps telling me to try later.
Don’t know what’s the problem but you’ll get your money either by mail or by any other means.
Carmel
Good day, I am happy to see this site. This will inspire and guide me and my friends. I am Joseph Gomez, 48, Roman Catholic, married and with two children. I work as a PE teacher in a Catholic university here in Bikol province, Philippines. I realized that I am living a life as an urban hermit so when I turned 48 I started to take this new chapter of my life seriously. I have few friend here who are living the same as me. We meet often until we called our group Modern Urban hermits. We are just a beginner I believe. Please include us in your prayers. Thank you so much and God bless.
Joseph! It is good to hear from you. We hope and trust that you will find more helpful items re being an urban hermit from our website. A number of our Raven’s Bread readers are married but still finding ways to live a life of solitude and prayer. It seems like there a new birth of eremitic callings across the world at this time. No doubt, because our world is so in need of praying hearts to help balance where it is violent or indolent. May God continue to bless you and your friends. Let us pray for one another. Karen & Paul
Dear Bro. Paul and Sis. Karen
Thank you so much. Hope to hear/read from the ministry more about Urban Hermit life. I used to have spiritual director and confessor ever since. Some of them passed away already and the last two had Alzheimer now. It is 15yrs now since I had the last SD. Need advice whether I should have one or not. Yes I will include both of you and all the living hermits around the world in our prayers. Thank you very much my dear brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ.
Solus Cum Deo Solo
Hi Paul and Karen. Something in me responds to the word Hermit. I am married, very happily. I have two wonderful children. I’m working, pretty hard many days, as a prish priest. But Antony has captured me through Athanasius. . . and many others. Hermit seems to much as a self-descriptor but I am definitely eremetic. The adjective works better than the noun for me. I am grateful to have found the book “Consider the Ravens”, your blog, website, and newsletter. This will help as I wonder about my future in ministry. -Rick
Hi Paul and Karen;
Thank you for your perseverance as certainly times could be challenging for all of us. Your ministry certainly inspires us to be able to share so much with each other and be able to swim together on this always changing turbulences of our modern world.
Pax from Canada
Lui
Thank you, Lui, for your comment and observation. Yes, it can get challenging at times for Paul and I but we feel we receive so much more than we give to our brothers and sisters in solitude. It is so very rewarding. We know God has taken this ministry in hand, reaching many of his children who might never find answers to some of their questions, were it not for Raven’s Bread. All our readers and contributors tend to nourish one another. The Spirit is alive among us!
Thank you both so much for your ministry.My wife and i are truly blessed! I love being a hermit,i would not want my life any other way! Praise Jesus for ravensbread.
Please pray for me,I am in desperate need of HIS grace
Mike, you are in the prayers of all of us. May grace seep into your spirit with peace and gentle love.
Dear Paul & Karen,
I have been reading and thinking about the things you talk about on your website and I have tell you that I actually feel at ease, almost peace.
I lost my wife in 2016 when a terrible storm caused her car to be swept off the road and into a creek by torrential flood waters. She managed to call me screaming and I drove the road she always took and found her. I tried to get her out but the current was so strong I was washed into the creek, over the top of her car and by the time I climbed back out she was gone along with her car. We had been married 33 yrs and since I have always been a loner with few friends when I lost her I lost my light and my world.
I have always been a hermit (I was basically a married hermit before) and I thank the Lord that I found your website, your writings, and look forward to spending time here.
Sincerely,
david
P.S. – When I tried to donate using Paypal on my phone it just froze up, will
try the computer at home. Thanks.
Dear David,
Peace! Our prayers embrace you and your dear wife. To lose her in such traumatic fashion must be haunting as well as hurting. Christ was with you through it all and continues so today. Welcome to the Raven’s Bread family. The November issue has just come out – we will send you the issue as a pdf file attached to an email. Let us pray for one another. Karen & Paul
Dear Paul and Karen,
As always, I am deeply moved with your honesty, deep insight and “agape” love that shines through both your spirits. I am doing a broadcast tomorrow on Brother Sean’s broadcast on “Agape and Palm Sunday”……I love how we humans are all one, and that what one shares in truth, speaks for others.
My final BYU Utah class (on spiritual development for chaplains and psychotherapists in training) is this Monday. Please say a prayer for me. This is so God’s gift to me, and His “game” with my soul development. I say “game” as the semester has felt both like amazing grace and “fierce grace”…..sometimes I leave feeling the Holy Spirit’s blessings, other times I feel like I have been crucified. That may seem harsh, but it is all His deep work on annihilation of my false self, so my true Self can blossom. He is using this class as His Holy Anvil, as He uses all life circumstances for growth. I share this, as your journal sharing is also such a mix of shadow and light, as it plays out in your life………..as God shepherds you through hills and valleys.
God bless your ministry and your darling souls that shine so radiantly on your show. With loveblessings for a peaceful and grace filled Palm Sunday….Buffy Bernhardt
I have learned so very much from your site. Please keep me in your prayers,as I will keep you in mine. Peace from eastern PA. Jack